I, Eldon James Brown, will NEVER, EVER, EVER commit suicide.
Oh, let me count the ways (I won’t);
- Not by hanging
- Not by drowning
- Not by stepping in front of a bus
- Not by falling off a roof
- Not by pills
- Not by overdose (I don’t do drugs, cannibus every blue moon)
- Not by gunshot
- Not by knife
- Not by razor
- Not by hatchet
- Not by slitting my wrist nor cutting
- Not by asphyxiation
- Not in a sex act (I have been celibate for over ten years)
- Not by food poisoning
- Not by starvation
- Not by dehydration
- Not by destructive behavior (I exercise and am fit)
- Not by falling off a ladder
- Not by electrocution
- Not by immolation
- Not by explosive
- Not by jumping in front of a train (BART, I hate riding it)
- Not by jumping off an orange or gray bridge
- and finally not by Blue Suicide (suicide by cop).
I have decided that I have a lot of things to do with the rest of whatever time that I have left on this earth because friends, WE ARE IN TROUBLE. That is, unless you like living under fascism. Come on, admit it, some of you do. Some of you actually get off on it and enjoy basking in the glow of it’s false glory.
The powers that be, both obvious and behind the scenes, are anti-God, anti-human, pro-eugenic, pro-floridated water, pro-GMO, pro-artificial scarcity, pro-Agenda 21, pro-depopulation, pro-abortion, pro-torture, pro-gangstalking, anti-traditional family, anti-masculinity, anti-Second Amendment, pro-robotic, pro-slavery, anti-intelligence, anti-critical thought, anti-anything beautiful, anti-Christian, Devil worshiping, Satanist pieces of crap!! (sound of me gulping air followed by short pause…)
And need to be opposed with all due alacrity, post-haste, like yesterday dude.
Not now but RIGHT NOW damnit.
I feel that God both wants and requires me to answer this call. It is a duty and an honor that I intend to affect with all that is within me. That does not include killing myself. Should I ever come up dead under circumstances that appear to be suicide, look further.
I NEVER get depressed, not even when I lost my beloved truck. Ask any of my neighbors of eight years and they will tell you that I’m always smiling, laughing and friendly. They might also tell you that I sometimes get angry about the conditions of the building but that my anger always has a moral basis and is acute to the circumstance. Yeah, yeah, they might also say that I’m a little weird, strange and maybe even a little crazy, but not to the point of being destructive. I have never done anything destructive either to the building, any person nor myself while living here. Quite the contrary, I’m always trying to help.
Here are some notable suicides (and two PG&E murders) that weren’t suicides at all. These are folks that spoke truth to money and power. They became martyrs for the sake of that truth, much as I expect to as well someday.